Introduction to "I've Come 'Round" (rough draft)

"My parents bought me a hamster one Christmas and I was so sorely disappointed that it wasn't the video game console I'd wanted that I failed to realize they had entrusted the welfare of a living creature into my hands.
One of my favourite games with Ted was to let him crawl down into the toe of an empty sock and whirl him around in circles like a sling, or a mad Ferris wheel. Then I'd laugh as he exited, tumbly and tipsy and dizzy as all hell. I did it because he was mine and because I could, half whimsy and half sadism.
And I would always be hurt that Ted would continue to chew through his cage and escape at every opportunity, or would jump from my hand regardless of height and THWAP! hit the floor in a scurry. I was afraid he'd hurt himself, or worse, die while my eyes were on him. I loved him and he was terrified of me. I think I just wanted him to have an exciting life.

I am God, and the rodent is me."