The pensive wino.

There's something about a fantastic bottle of wine that makes me contemplative. Right now I'm sipping a glass of '03 Ramatillo - a dry, dark Italian with hints of charcoal, anise, and plums, and goes down like velvet.

After my recent 180-degree turn, now I face the aftermath. The giving back of keys, the hurtful voicemails, the abandonment of friends, the post-partum. The phantom tingles, like an amputee's bizarre itches. I know, somewhere deep, that I've made the correct choice. Nonetheless, that doesn't mean it's an easy one. It's a choice I have to remake every single day - to stay or run. I'm thankful for whatever wiring it is inside me that allows me to choose steadfastness over wanderlust. The former is far more gratifying in the long run. Or so I hope.

It's not so much that I yearn for escape. It's more like the feeling you get after ice-skating for a long time and then walk on solid ground. Parts of you are telling other parts of you that your movements don't feel right, that you ought to be sliding along gracefully instead of simply falling and catching yourself repetitively. And then another part chimes in and tells you that this is walking, something you've done far more often than skating, and a skill you learned much earlier, and in fact is the very thing that defines human motion.

It's just the trickery of your brain when it's become accustomed to a certain method of moving down this path. "Sometimes I think my brain is trying to kill me," to quote the illustrious Calvin. (Not John Calvin, but the cartoon Calvin with spiky blonde hair and a pet tiger named Hobbes.)

There is something noble, I think, in waking up every day and choosing to be where I am, rather than simply finding myself on the consequential end of a drunken decision. Free will triumphs over happenstance.

-----------------------------------------------

On another note entirely, the countdown has begun to March 9th and the release of 300. Mir & I are going to pawn off the midgets to some unsuspecting relative and traipse on down to Moosic to attend opening night at the Cinemark theatre.

Anyone want to join us?

Mir & The Midgets (oh, that'd make a great lounge band) are heading out of town that week. So I'm traipsing solo, plus Loaf & Jillian should they still be in. Sal, you in? Anyone else?