I blame it on non-activity. Being currently unemployed has its minor advantages, like having plenty of time to clean, read, paint, write, or... well, blog. Of course, I do almost none of those things. Why? Because I get distracted.
I was diagnosed with ADD (not ADHD, mind you) back before it became popular, before doctors were handing out Ritalin to unruly six-year olds like lollipops. At a young age, it manifested itself as an increasing difficulty in paying attention for long periods of time. Say, five minutes or so. I would get sent to clean my room and discover my long-lost rock collection, or a Hardy Boys book I hadn't read in a year, and never get around to accomplishing anything. Except rearranging my rocks, maybe. Or imagining I was Joe Hardy, who was much cooler than Frank.
Everyone knows the "distracted" symptoms of ADD, but it also comes with a nifty bonus of "hyperfocus." Hyperfocus means that while reading said Hardy Boys adventure, if I was really into it, a tornado wrapped in nuclear bombs could slap me in the forehead and I'd have no idea. I've actually injured myself in the course of being hyperfocused on a given activity and been clueless until afterwards.
Another interesting symptom is that chemicals meant to stimulate do just the opposite - they depress. And vice versa. Coffee is a staple in my life, as caffeine tends to fire off the extra neurons I'm not using and let me focus on the ones I do need. Nicotine does the same. Not that I'm condoning my current diet of Folger's and Pall Malls, but it does have an upside. Of course, the downside would be ulcers, and maybe cancer. If I have a cold, during the day I take NyQuil. Alcohol makes me think too much.
Lately, since I've been cooped up in The Lair, it's got worse. I can't sleep, regardless of how much coffee I drink. (I know that statement sounds antithetical, but trust me.)
Here's what ran through my head last night, around 2am:
Where should I put the gold leaf on that painting? It might work there... Oh, I need to call Firestone. How am I going to get the car... Maybe Sean will help me... What day is tomorrow? If I was a blacksmith, I'd make... Jesus, what time is it? It was good to read Tim's... Oh crap, I forgot about the brunch. Need to get champagne. And Stephen's party... Do I even remember how to play chess? Need to get Mod Podge... What's up with knitting? I could use a drink...
All while the "Indiana Jones" theme song was carousing incessantly through my head. I'm not particularly thrilled about the idea of being medicated, but I think that once work starts and my new insurance kicks in, I might go get checked out.
Shit, I still need to call Firestone.
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3 comments:
Our brains work in like manner. I know if I were in school now, I would be classified as ADD and Learning Disabled. I had a hard time in school. As an adult I've learned how to compensate for it.
My only wish is that you're this distracted when we play chess.
*grin*
Hey Jarad! Nice to hear from you. A visit would be great! Your dad knows where we are if you're not sure. We are often times not around - off working on something - so we should set something up ahead of time.
Anyway, i have a bit of hyperspecificity. Definitly more than most people i know but not nearly as much as an autistic person. i notice details. Lots of them. Everywhere. i don't remember them, but i see dozens of things that don't even exist to others. This is, of course, very different from hyperfocus, but you made me think of it.
i've heard it said that many engineers have a very mild but diagnosable form of autism, and i tend to think that is true for myself. Animals In Translation by Temple Grandin is an amazing book on animal behavior. And as a autistic person with a PhD, she connects animals and autism in several intruiging ways.
Anyway, don't forget to call Firestone.
Everything else made sense except for the thoughts about knitting.
Do you realize that your blog doesn't publish an RSS feed? I mean, that's a good thing if you don't want people to be able to subscribe to your blog, but I just wanted to make sure it was on purpose.
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